Losing the little pieces

I haven't even made it to a quarter of a century and I'm already losing it. And by it, I mean, basically anything. I guess I'm more stressed out than I think because I seem to be losing track of small details. In the past few weeks, I have:

- lost my gloves (twice)

- lost, and subsequently found my wallet in a snowbank (that snowbank has great deposit security!)

-lost my mouse

And, the kicker:

-found a hairbrush I lost about 3 weeks ago in one of the lesser-used women's washrooms in my building. Next to my concealer. And my watch. The worst part is that I think I've only been missing the watch for a week! So I must have left it next to my other missing possessions WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING.

... it's time for me to retire, I think :D

Dinosaur troubles

Following my usual tradition, I drew a dinosaur on the midterm I wrote today. This time it was even almost relevant, because the test had a very open-ended "bonus question" and I figured dinosaur content would be appropriate. Apparently, I neglected to pay attention to the clock and the professor neglected to mention that the exam was over. I must have been writing into the start of the next class, because their professor came over to ask me if I was done (aka shoo me the hell out of there) and saw me drawing dinosaurs playing frisbee. Look, it was important, ok?

This is an interdisciplinary class and I'm not telling anyone that I'm a graduating engineer.

I am legend!

Several tour groups walked by my lab this morning. Each one had a different variation on a theme of the same story. "Somewhere in this lab, there's a really awesome student/programming genius/grad student that builds robots/heavy machinery and who can make all her lab equipment play songs.

How the hell did I end up in the campus tours manual? Awesome sauce. I can't wait to hear what kind of mythical creature I grow into by the time I leave this place. Must increase proportion of mad science going on in lab.

Update: 2 days later, classes started, balloon of awesomeness deflated

Squirrels are evil

Today I saw a squirrel catch and eat a butterfly.
That is all.

Well, your sim is smelly.

My roomate got the Sims 3 and proceeded to make little sims of everyone we know. In the game, you get to pick 5 attributes to sort of describe the sim's personality. Apparently, my sim is clumsy, absent-minded, a genius, and some other stuff.

I watched my roomate play, and as soon as the game started, my sim walked into the house and promptly lit the toaster on fire. I protested, saying that I'm not THAT bad, and most of my clumsy incidents tend to be fairly minor.

This morning I lit the toaster on fire. I'm really not helping my case here.

Fail

Is when you can't print off your assignments because you wasted all your printer ink printing off a life-sized poster of David Duchovny (why won't he love me?).

Ebil

Lying to children is acceptable when it produces good results.
Case in point:

Right after getting my teeth pulled, I had blood running down my face and my head swelled up like a balloon. Also, I was still a little groggy so I was walking with a lurch. Zombie-like, I shuffled up to the prescription counter to get the prescription for the painkillers filled as I waited for the medicine they had already given me to kick in. There was a little boy waiting with his mother to get something filled, who knows what. He just couldn't stop staring at me, in terror. Finally, I said, "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T BRUSH YOUR TEETH!" and scared the living crap out of him. I might be a monster, but I'll bet that he's going to brush his teeth three times a day for the rest of his childhood.

Oh Shit (literally)

One of my roomates had a birthday this week, so I made a Rubik's Cube cake. The cake on instructables.com looked really neat and I couldn't help but give it a go. It's a pretty good set of instructions, but what they fail to mention is that you need to be SOME KIND OF CHEF EXTRAORDINAIRE to make the fondant.

I've only ever made 4 cakes in my life (on mah own), and each one of them was more or less a success. Two of them were made from scratch. Naturally, it was about time for an epic fail.

On the plus side, I only lit the oven on fire once, and the cake tasted great even though it looked like a mouldy poison mushroom from Super Mario Bros. (the lost levels, of course). It was really neat, the smoke actually rose out of the oven and started coming through the burners, just like a cartoon or something! I had always thought that it was just a bit of dramatic exaggeration, but no, apparently oven fires really do that.

Lighting an oven on fire is only really a fail in my books. What made it an EPIC fail is this:
Food colouring.
What's so bad about food colouring, you ask? Well, nothing, in the right quantities... but I decided that I wanted a REALLY BRIGHT Rubik's cube. No problems, so far. Everyone takes a different coloured mini-cube and eats it.

Fast forward to the next day.

Scene: Birthday boy and couch man are sitting on the couch. I walk in the door, home from a long day of work.

Me: Have you pooped today?
Birthday Boy (BB): *pained expression* Yes.
Me: I'm ... so ... sorry ... What colour did you eat?
BB: Green.
Me: Oh dear, that's disturbing.
BB: Very. I thought I was dying.
Me: At least you didn't eat neon blue.
BB: Ick.


So apparently... if you eat enough food colouring... It DYES YOUR POOP TOO. And I don't just mean tinge of blue, I mean I HAD SOLIDLY NEON BLUE POOPS THAT DYED THE TOILET BOWL BLUE. Now that I've shared that, I'm going to go.

Best. Day. Ever.

The other day I was walking back from work and a bus drove by with an ad for Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. I LOVE that show (the British version), but I don't have cable so I rarely get to watch it. As I opened the door to my house, I saw some friends on my couch, drinking beer and watching Kitchen Nightmares! TV on psyhic demand, that's better than Tivo. And it gets better, they had just ordered pizza! Friends, pizza, and British TV... life doesn't get much better.

English for Enginerds

I had to write an essay about how trebuchets make me feel. Seriously. I appreciate the effort to umm, tailor English to engineers, but seriously... The feelings I have for my trebuchet are private. PRIVATE.

I fully expect a zombie invasion by Tuesday

Wow, what a strange week. People say I have ADD because I'm always off on a tangent and coming up with non-sequiturs (even though that's not really what ADD is all about). It's not that I don't try to pay attention to normal things, it's just that there's usually something more interesting going on that other people might miss out on. Or, it's that I'm a product of my environment and some days my environment is screwy. Case in point:

Saturday: A gangsta got on the bus, sat down next to me, put his arm around me, and started smoking a joint.
Sunday: Dug up a road sign in my garden.
Monday: Watched police find a dead body
Tuesday: While riding the bus, watched a man kick in the window of an apartment building and steal a TV.
Wednesday: Saw someone subdued with pepper spray after trying to assault a police officer who asked him to stop sitting in the middle of a busy road. Can you say craaaaaack?
Thorsday: Saw what was nearly the world's first roller disco casualty (but ended up only being a concussion and an ambulance ride).
Friday: Went to a Rocky Horror screening, hehe. On a related note, bought lingerie from a Salvation Army and a Goodwill store. They give you weird looks.

I manage to find something strange and amusing in every day, and this pleases me.

Unspoken rule: Whenever there's someone crazy, and I mean absolutely mental on the train/bus, they will ALWAYS come sit next to me.